It’s surprising that it took me this long to actually realize that what I wanted in love has been there all along…
I was just too stupid to admit it and all the more, focus for it.
Sometimes I tend to hide behind unsatisfied things, craving for more and more.
Life felt simple when I always have you around.

It will takes a looooong process, a strong castaway, a brainwash process, to move you out of my head.
I will need some external encouragements that can take me high when I remember all about you..
Everyone has their opinion about our relationship… so it’s okay.
When we spend too much of energy and time bothering theirs, I guess we are the ones responsible of our own loss of happiness.
My happiness is from you. Your happiness is from me. I guess we both miss a LOT of happiness..

You, the one I'll always loved. I am sorry. I am the one who failed here. This is my failure. Not yours.

I love you, R.
I feel so content. I am happy for all the imperfection I have and how I live such an imperfect life. Not everything is right, not everyone is okay. I am not okay.
But why do I feel sad? Isn’t it supposed to be a beautiful day?

I feel…..lonely.
That ugly feeling that gradually creeps inside me, but I deny every now and then by keeping myself busy.
I want someone. To be here. To stick around.
To follow me wherever I go. To annoy me. To grab my hands and say everything's gonna be okay.

Don’t you know, R? You’re the kindest man I have even seen in my life.
You are good. I am the jerk. I am the one who broke ours.

In between everything I have done till today, I just wished you were there. To look at me when I needed someone to land my eyes on when I was nervous. To hear your "super-garing" jokes.

But I know I just can't. I am not deserve. You are the angel fallen from the sky. I am just a stupid human. Angel and human can't be together.

I just pray for your best. For your days ahead.
You have to find an angel to carry things together. To be loving each other in such a perfection. Because you are perfect. You are everything that a woman could hopes for. I know you will find her.

All things considered, I think it's important to be honest, wise & reasonable in love. Some relationship might end unachievable. But at least we've tried, and that's all that matters.

Thank you R.H, for all the memories we shared together.